Because you came first.

Sometimes i felt like i created this blog just to write about you, to throw all my feelings in the air and shoot them with my words, to yell your name secretly, cowardly and to be someone else i have never known. I did so many things i have never experienced or known before, it is because- you-came-first.

Because you are the first thing comes to my mind in the morning and the last thing appears in my head at night. It sounds so sick, but honestly i do. And i see myself wake up in the middle of the night, crying out your name and whisper “Dejame en paz”.

Because i have never loved any one the way i love you.

Because you are my f*cking mentor, because you taught me everything i have to learn, because you are truly my teacher, because you are my shadow and i know somehow your imagine will never leave my life.

Because i could never forget you.

Because we are so different, because the game is too hard and the time is just short. Because we have been mistrusted, out of love, got all the lies and all the risks, they made us who we are when we’re together.

Because i always want you.

Because you know my dreams, my goals, the things i want in life, my low/ high self esteem and my night mare without me telling you it. You know the feminity inside me and all the masks i have to wear.

Because i can be myself when i am with you

There are many reasons,  i can write all days, and it is because i believe in you. That’s suck right? Since he who loves less wil be happier.

I just don’t want to give a fuck anymore. I don’t want to care.  Just don’t temp me with those sweetnesses at night, i have had enough lol

Because i hate you so much to forget everything….

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Man, I love the woman inside you.

There was a night when we were holding hands, walking in a park and talking about our relationship with other people. You said : “I’m pretty grumpy, that’s the girly side of me”

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My good male friend who i consider as a brother always tells me : “How could you date that guy while he’s pretty girly and you have a man head???”

Yes, i hate those girly men who could never act right. Who could never be gentle, be nice, be polite or a real man to the ladies. Who could never think of the big things but argue over the tiny details. Who play the fool tricky games. Who cannot be a man to me.

You are girly, but not that.

You never give me your coat while we go to the cinema and it’s so damn cold inside. It is because you never bring one. It is because you would mumble you feel so cold as well and hug me tightly. You give me your warmth. You let me feel the nature heat in the dark.

You never tell me to bring raincoat or umbrella. You never care. It is because you know i will bring one, and you are the one who holds it along the way, next to me, under the rain, even you’re wet a half of your shoulder.

You never ask me if i am sick or not. You ask “How are you?” as a greeting line. It is because i always tell you first. Because i am dedicated. Because you know i will always turn to you. Because you know you will be the one who makes me feel right, who covers me with the pinky blanket, who kisses me on my forehead, who cuddles with me while i am with you. You know i will let you in.

You know me. You know the man inside me. Might he find the woman inside you and loves her also? Because i love her. I love that girly side of you. I love you too. I love you to death…