The happy project part 7: Bury your love alive.

It has been 3 months,  and i still wake up everyday by the our alarm song from Frank Turner then go to bed every night thinking of what have been said and done.  What made me hurt the most is you saying that i loved you more than you did,  so even you put everything into us, in the end of the day, it still was not enough.  And then you left me here with my little too much love that i have to bury it alive.

I never want you to leave, but it would be selfish of me to say so.

So…

Can I keep that moment when you half naked, standing in the kitchen, bare feet, making breakfast for me? I’m not sure i could see it anymore in my entire life.

Can I keep that moment when we walked together in Bangkok, hand in hand, everyday? I would perhaps need some times to find another hand to hold on.

Can I keep that moment when i wake up every morning next to you, seeing the light outside streamed down on your face  while you were still asleep? I felt ease at heart.

Can I keep that moment you hugged me tight every time you went out for a smoke? I regret every time i was not there with you.

Can I keep that moment you woke me up by a kiss on my forehead and a cup of hot coffee? Where could I go to find someone that can make coffee for me every day like you did?

Can I keep that moment when we were so playful and happy? I have never felt like that again since you left.

Can I keep that moment we sat quietly together in a silent night and felt the pleasure of peace? I miss it. I do….

Can I keep everything about you inside me? like a white dress needs to be taken care of, I don’t want it to have any stains.

Can I keep everything about us deep down in my memories ? You will always be there, beautiful and whole like the first time we met.

I have never told someone that they are the best until i met you. And yes, you are still the best, I mean that.

I will bury my love alive, and the memory of you inside.

I’m happy because you came, i’m happy because we met. I’m happy because my memory is not a cliché of time but with you in it, it looks more beautiful whenever i look back.

Think of you tonight x

 

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