Let you go

I see myself touching the cactus with those red flowers next to the river.
I wonder if it’s dead or still alive?
I see Naruto with his undone sword on the crude sketch.
I wonder if it’s done or now covered in dust.
I see the reddish floral sheet on the wooden bed
I wonder if it’s now stained or replaced?
I see the green cup filled with homemade coffee everymorning
I wonder if it’s still full or now broken?
I see the burning cigarette dropping on the floor, 
I wonder if it’s cleaned or now more ashes 
I sense a familiar smell on the air,
And wonder if you still use the same smell,  or now you change.
I cry my heart out like that song of Oasis that I listened on a November night
I wonder if you ever cry? Or if you know the song.
I see myself lying on the wrong side of the bed, trying to take a nap.
I wonder if you’re sleeping?
I feel peaceful inside,  feel like home
And wonder if you are now happy with what you have
It hurts me seeing my own pain from the outside
And wonder if you ever know.
I look at myself in the mirrors,  look at other lives,
Wonder if you ever know I would be so depressed.
Sometimes,  I think about us
Wonder if it was real
And I know it was. It’s a real illusion.
And I realize that I don’t have to wonder anymore.
I’ve learned to be truly happy, 
To be ok without being pleased, 
To be happy for others people,
To please someone else without expecting anything from them.
I thought that you taught me nothing but pain.
But there is one thing, you taught me to be happy without you.
And now I am.
I no longer wonder everything about you.
I no longer wonder about what we were
I no longer wonder who I was.
I am now happy,
I now find where I belong to, 
And It’s not where you are.
I feel peaceful,  I feel loved,
And I know,
I really let you go.


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