Over.

And i deleted it all, all the messages, the photos, the emails.

All the little things that can be a part of a nice memory i want to keep.

We started it as strangers, now i hope we can also be.

And you said my love could never treat me right,

what do you know about right or wrong?

And you told me to not get married to someone you never know,

who are you to talk about commitment?

And you told me who is the fraud, who is the good,

which one then would you label yourself?

Seeing your little lover in a floral dress,

No baby, i feel nothing but sorry for you,

and that woman who would never know how to spell your name right.

Go have fun, it’s your turn.

Burn all those please, whatever we had together.

Because the “we” sounds wrong having you in it.

And you told me that i could find no one like you?

sure, who else can  be such a fraud?

And you told me that i was the only one?

sure, who else knows you are such a fool?

No, i don’t hate you.

No, i am not angry at you, if that’s what you want to know.

I am annoyed, that’s the word.

Don’t bring me to any meetings, doctor, dentist, real estate…

Don’t make me dinner, don’t make my bed.

I need no advice, in love,  life, career.

Don’t get me chocolate, don’t send me to the moon.

Cause we know everything will just end soon.

Let’s leave the cocoon, once again, it’s your turn

Don’t apologize, don’t hide.

I’m not here to stay, i have nothing to say.

Erase those kisses, forget my smile

Let my sun shines, let me say goodbye,

No longer need your cover,

Let this thing over,

Goodbye April boy, porque  yo voy.

 

 

Advertisements

Rain

She sits alone in the dark, watching the rain falling down over the window. The view is not romantic, but lonely. Seeing the raindrops fall down on the wet wall, She suddenly sees herself touching the window glass, waiting for him while it was pouring outside.

It was also a spring day, same month, perhaps same day,she can´t recall. She can still smell that wet April after the rain, She can still see those grey clouds above my head, her lips taste the sweetness of the mango tea and his finger tips on her arm remain the same.She remembers how much she hated him, how irritated and annoyed he made her felt at first.

” We are from different worlds….

I remember the first time you cooked for me, sitting on the edge of the bed, sharing a big plate of food, you curiously asked me if i liked it. I perhaps… kept watching TV and ignoring your lame jokes.

I remember the first time you gave me your jacket when it rained hard outside. I went home, under the rain, i was not sure if it was the coldness of the rain or your smell on the jacket that made me cry. That night, you told me to sleep well.

I remember the first time i drew you with the sunglasses on and the brightest smile, you turned away and your eyes smiled. Making dinner for two while i was taking a shower, you were happy. Then I …. broke the container of your favorite green candle in the bathroom. You cleaned it up and fed me chicken salad.

I remember the first time we walked under the moon light, the second time, the third time, the n time. We talked, and talked, from the big world to the most inner thought, we stop there. We never went further than that. We knew the other had a past, but we have never wanted to know about that in details. You spent hours to tell me what to do with my career, my health and my life, but my love. You told me that you knew, that i didn´t need to say anything.

I remember how you told me to go to bed early everynight

I remember the kisses, the touches, the laughter and the glance.

I remember that first time you said that you remembered me,

I remember the secret quick kiss on the lips in a windy night.

I remember how tight you hugs were whenever i went away.

I remember how possessive you showed whenever we were alone together.

I remember the way you said i was the only one.

I remember how i mocked the way you lied.

I remember how you explained everything,

I remember how confused you were seeing me crying, you got me tea and candies.

I remember everything, i remember all.

I see us, sitting next to each other, in silence, looking at our reflections on the window glass, watching all the cars and bikes honking below. We don´t know where to start, where to end, don´t know when it began, when it finishes.  We live for the moment, refuse the past, ignore the future. The presence is a present…

Seeing people being together and apart, seeing myself being broken and healed. How can your mind walk away when your heart is not yet closed? How can you give it up when your heart is on fire? …”

Her mind has been wandering for too long, it needs some sleep.

Anniversaire 

The cover cracks, the pain shows 

The water flows,

The time goes. 

The secret remains unknown,

The love remains unwhole,

We’re ready for a show.

Playing house,

Giving up on reality,

Focus on the fun and the peace

Throw away the native tongues,

Be that person your inner child didn’t know.

Checking clothes for the babies that will never be born,

Checking toys for the kids that will never be here.

Seeing you teasing the chubby kids,

I know what you want.

I apologize for what I can’t.

Whisper in my ears under the moonlight 

That you can be a family man

I’m sorry for not being that perfect woman 

Toned arms cooking in the kitchen,

I’m sorry for being the useless one.

I apologize for what I can’t,

Your wish is written on the sand 

Waiting for someone and a plan.

I apologize for what I am

Not a fan,

And not the plan.
Then,

You tell me I’m the only one. 

You’re like that painting,

Simple and obvious.

 But no one knows what it wants to convey.

I’m in love with the mystery

I’m in love with the boundary 

I’m sorry for what I can’t. 

I can do nothing but loving you.

Nada

 

Eres nada, nada me hace feliz.

Eres nada,nada me motiva.

Eres nada, nada me inspira.

Eres nada, nada me busca.

Eres nada, nada me afecta.

Eres nada, nada me importa.

Eres nada, nada me ama.

Nada camina conmigo bajo la luna,

Nada me compra el chocolate.

Nada es simple, nada es obvio.

Sin embargo,

Nadie sabe que nada sea complicado.

No sé qué significa nada.

Eres nada, nada me completa.

Eres nada.

Eres nada para mi,

porque nada dura para siempre.

Espero que seas nada.

Espero que seas nada en mi vida.

Eres nada,

Eres mi vida,

Porque la vida es nada sin ti.

It’s not goodbye.

I have never been good at goodbye,

Seeing you walk away with your green backpack.

Holding hands for the last time, hoping for the next.

Quick kiss, last glance,

“I will see you again”

I have never been good at goodbye,

Long way home, Laura Pasini’s song repeated,

I just wish i was next to your seat.

No matter what i try, i know i will miss

You

Everything about you

Us

Everything about both of us

I have never been good at writing poems.

My rhythm sucks,

My words are messed up,

My head spins,

Thinking of you flying away.

I love you,

I have never seen myself being so in love.

I ‘m sometimes just afraid,

because it got me in trouble whenever i said those words,

but this time.

You make my heart smile,

You blow my insecurity away,

You make me want to stay.

Not every feeling that can be said,

but i promise to never be away.

I’m there, in your heart, wishing you all the best,

an amazing  individual,

I see a bright future ahead for you.

I know what I can do, motivate, inspire, and a hug when you need.

I am not the best,

But i try my best for you.

I truly believe in us,

Faith, Love and Trust.

This is not goodbye, as i know the next thing i say will be “Hello”.

But i miss you though… 😦

 

 

 

 

 

Chinese.

Messy table,  colors splash on paper
Chinese song on the radio
“life is a lonely journey”
Dancing words,
Streaming tears,
Knowing that the world is not the same.

Beautiful memories,
Lovely time,
Reality is not a dream.

Your smile is the moonbeam,
Just as bright as it seems,
Smooth skin,
Irresistible sin
My broken soul ends where it begins.

You lost me.

You lost me, 
Rainy afternoon,  spring day.
Wrong destination, 
Late date,  wrong time,  right people.

You lost me,
In the crowd one night,
Busy street,  noisy bikes,  annoying heartbeats.

You lost me,
In your world one night,
Tiring lies,  broken dignity,  sarcastic laughs.

You lost me,
Within your story,
Between your identities,
The darkness,  the light,  the fight we’re stuck in.

You lost me,
In your bed one day,
Hand in hand, 
We don’t care where we belong to.

You lost me,
In another love,  another life,
No promises,  no right,  no love song on the radio.
We’re hidden from the world, 
Sailing the ship on the invisible sea
Ocean storm,  big whale,
Everything is in the video game that has no rules.

You lost me,
And I know.
Balancing a life that as real as a chicken piece on the yellow fork.
In the end,  we are lost just to be found.