I thought it would be good… 

I thought it would be good,  leaving my feeling alone in an old box inside that forgotten corner of this dark world. 

I thought it would be good,  letting you go with my kiss on your lips without telling you the truth deep down in my heart. 

I thought it would be good,  trying to enjoy every little moment we have together in this busy life. 

I thought it would be good,  staying out of your mind,  staying out of your life. 

I thought it would be good,  leaving you then travel to the ideal land,  letting my heart stuck in between the amazing blossomed flower and the thorn of a Cactus. 

My tears are dry,  come out of my eye’s corner,  painfully. 

My heart is bleeding,  as if the night breeze was a sharpened knife. 

My soul is all black,  I wish I was 16 again,  seeing life with another color on my palette. 

My hands are cold,  touching ice,  cutting wood. They are calloused. 

My feet know where you are,  leading me wherever you tell me to. 

My heart,  is broken,  for you. 

My skin,  is bleeding,  for you. 

And hey,  I’m tired,  I wish I could just simply love you,  die for you,  do everything for you, 

Even if my heart is shattered in pieces, 

I love you,  might I? 

Might I call you love? 

Because I love you,  my love. 


Stab me. 

I stand on the cliff 

Seeing you melting through the space between my fingers. 

Your smell vanishes with my memory of your smile. 

Might we be strangers again? 

Might I un-know your name? 

Un-know your touch,  un-do whatever we have done. 

You’re so toxic,  you’re that venomous snake that I should never touch. 

You bit me once,  you bit me twice, 

But I always come back for you. 

I will always care for you, just like how I’m afraid of touching your smooth skin with the callouses on my hand. 

And you, 

You stab me with a knife in your pocket,  right to my heart. 

Thank you… 


Hey,  I’m scared. 

I don’t know if I’m ever right. 

I’m lonely,  and it’s scary that I’m not even alone. 

My soul is empty,  and my computer is fuller than it should be. 

My heart beats so slow,  and I do things faster than it should be. 

Seeing people that can’t make me happy, 

Listening to songs that make me cry whenever the music is on

Driving back and forth,  I feel lost. 

I need it,  an afternoon in the dark quiet room with just you and me

Even you turn your back to me, I at least feel at peace. 

I feel lost, and miss you. 

But hey,  you don’t know anything,  you just sleep. 

And I don’t love you…

And I don’t love you

Because you are that handsome guy flying across the ocean for me

I don’t love you 

Because you wear all those clothes that can seduce my eyes

I don’t love you

Because you smell like home in my wildest dream

I don’t love you

Because you had sent me a big teddy bear before you knew how skin felt like

I don’t love you 

Because you take me out on a romantic date when you’re in town

I don’t love you

Because of all the gifts  your gave me.

I don’t love you 

Because you’re better than my dream. 

I don’t love you 

Because I’m seeking for inner peace or safety from you

I don’t love you

Because I want a secure ticket to love land.

I don’t love you 

Because of my insecurity, my fear, my fantasy.
I don’t love you because you break my armour with your sweetness. 

I love you, because when I open my eyes every morning, the first thing I want to do is messaging you just to tell you goodnight 

I love you, because whenever I close my eyes at midnight, my souls is still up like the sun in your afternoon, thinking of you.

I love you, because I walk under the rain and thinking of you walking quietly in your brown jacket next to me

I love you, because I see you in everything I do, everyone I meet, everywhere I go

I love you, because I spend time writing down word I can never say, for you. 

I love you, because I can be the ridiculous me around you

I love you, because you makes me laugh and roll like a sushi at the Japanese restaurant 

I love you, because you know me, my fear, my insecurity, my heart.

I love you, because my heart knows nobody else but you…

The creep

I can’t help feeling like a creep, 

In the end of the day when I go back, 

inside my mind, 

I’m nothing but a black sheep. 

Wearing the white mask,  dancing in the pink field, kissing your feet. 

The snake eats the boy,  I eat the apple. 

The black sheep’s jumping on the field,  

Being so free,  inside the owned farm. 
I can’t help feeling like a creep, 

Creeping out the man’s heart,  

Crawling in the dark,  scaring the shark. 

I can’t help feeling like a creep, 

Who is asking for a happiness that will never be true. 


I dream of you every night 

I had dreamed of you before I met you

I dreamed of nights walking under the moonlight,  

Of day being quiet next to each other,  waiting for the sun to melt on your body,  shining through my hair. 

I did  dream of you in a rainy day,  

Sitting next to me,  bare feet turning away from where I am. 

And I dreamed of you,  

Smile,  just for me,

 hold my hand once  without any hesitate. 

I had dreamed of you before I met you. 

The adventure turned into a tragedy, 

I dreamed of you,  a familiar foreign body with an unknown face. 

Kiss me all over,  burn my soul in hell. 

There is something I just can’t tell. 

I love you, 

You won’t believe me,  will you? 

You thought I said it for fun? 

You thought I said it and run? 

It takes a whole life time of courage,  a loud song,  a heart beat and many nights drowning in tears to tear my heart out for you. 

And you,

Think that it can never be real. 


And I’m so busy,  

sharping the blue puzzle to fit the green one. 

But I forget

that they never mean to be together. 

Blue and green themselves are seriously the worse combination for that painting of mine. 

I’m so busy creating the fantastic world that labeled my fantasy, 

forgetting that sorrow and peace will never be the same. 

I forget that the blue puzzle will just be so blue. And the green one will be forever green. 

Something I have never seen,  

I’m also blue from touching the blue,  I just have no clue,

And without glue, 

I’m stuck. 

The artist,  becomes the blue puzzle, 

running around in the pink fantastic world with the gray sky, 

full of,  

salty drops.