I am still a creep,
I forever don’t know what I am doing here.
Secretly wish to touch you in the dark,
The lightest touch of the dirty feather on the precious stone
Seeing you move the corner of your lips slightly
And my heart already feels tipsy
Your glance sees through my soul like a knife plunge into my lung.
I can’t breathe.
I loathe liars.
People lie to each other, I lie to myself.
I am still a creep
I can’t look you in the eyes,
Even I’ve tried.
You never look into my eyes, You see them.
You never caress me, You touch me
Throw me on your bed like a lion treats its leftover for the vultures
Hey, Is that your culture?
I am still a creep.
But I do care since it hurts.
The fear of seeing you settling down with a woman I have never known of
Sending me an invitation out of nowhere, asking for the blessing from my own flesh
Seeing your sad spontaneous soul trapped in a tux
Your feet walking up the hill in a pair of Nike instead of the shiny Italian leather shoes
Your hands trembling, shaking, holding the ring that can somehow, tie you there, on the cross, forever.
Sacrifice your life for something better.
Telling me love is bullshit but giving your heart away one day
Being scared of commitment but crushing your ego to be on your knees kissing her toes one day
Never know who she is, where’s she from, what she does
I’m still a creep
Being scared of losing something I’ve never had
Holding on the happiness that is vague, like how the sun shines on a rainy day
I have always missed you.
Like the desert misses the rain,
It dries me out,
I’m now sober, and still am a creep.
But hey, I don’t need alcohol to love you.