What you cannot see. 

My friend posted a photo of her boyfriend on instagram,  saying “what you cannot see,  is that he smiles because I make cookies for him…”. It makes me think, after all the photographs I have of you,  will you,  or me,  or anybody else knows the story behind it? Would I remember why would I take that photo when I look at it again? Would I be able to remember how thing was back then? I don’t know,  time is cruel,  I just hope that I do…

I have many photos of a man I used to date, photo of the coffee he made,  the sandwiches we ate together,  the cinema we went to; photo of his hand,  holding mine under the coffee table; photos of him from behind while he was cooking for me; and, no photos of us. It was sad. 

And I have photos of you,  your bike,  your street,  the food you make for me; photo of you smiling,  being unaware of a sudden shot; photo of you cooking; photo of me taken by you; and more photos of you, and you alone. But what Noone else can see,  is that you had that big smile because you tried to make me laugh,  because you felt comfortable with me,  and because we laughed together. 

So, what else that you cannot see from your photograph? Perhaps an ending that no one else knows? :)… 


You ruin me

I found myself on a stranger’s bed, 

Lying to myself that I am fine without you

Kissing the new lips,  touching another skin,  running my fingers on a body that’s not yours 

I didn’t cry.

I miss your skin. I miss your lips on me,  your warm hand on my skin. 

I think of you in every kiss,  every touch,  every thrust. 

My body is tired,  but my mind misses you. 

Knowing that you’re nothing but poison for my heart. 

Knowing that you never love but ruin me

I have run on this race for too long,

I don’t think that I can keep being strong. 

I’m no longer the sarcastic girl stirring the mango tea. 

I’m now vulnerable,  fragile,  weak and naked in front of you. 

All these years, you ruin me well… 

You drag me to hell, 

I have no soul left to sell. 

So I guess it’s a goodbye. Let me be free, I’m not the cool pretty girl you know anymore. 

You ruin her,  for me.