One last time 

City lights, one last night,

We owe the lie with the life that isn’t ours 

We own the scars with the pain that’s always ours 

My heart is shattered in pieces,

The storm in my head is never released 

I guess this is all I have, 

I know I just can’t escape 

The one moment when you left,

A part of me,

also dead…

It was my fault… Good bye 🙂

Be fine without me.

Will you be fine without me, being on someone else’s bed in a foggy day?

Will you be fine without me, letting someone else’s lips touching yours?

Will you be fine without me, attending the parties which you never belong to?

Will you be fine without me, putting yourself in a crowd full of people that squeeze your head?

Will you be fine without me, seeing the sun goes down without me by your side?

Will you be fine with out me, lying to your little heart where the home is?

Hold my hands, enjoy life like how  the breeze touches this lake

Sing the song that only us can hear, sending this love thousand miles away

Hold me tight, one last time like how the dark night embraces the moon

Let my fingers running through your spine, leaving my mark on you.

I know that you’re broken today, give me a piece of yours

Wear my name on your neck, kiss me in the night, tell me goodnight

I am sad seeing the man who makes you high,

Will you be fine, continuing this fight?…

April rain 

Another rainy season has come,

I’m still looking over my windows waiting for the last stream of sunlight drops on my fingers 

I see me waiting for you in a rainy day years ago,

I waited for you then, I wait for us now

I die a bit inside, 

with an unlocked door,

My heart bleeds a bit inside waiting for your touch.

My memory stops right where you are, 

My heart knows only you, 

My eyes keep searching for you in the dark,

And my mind, 

Is lost without you.

why

 

Why?,

You want me to leave, you want me to just run away,

You want me to leave you alone with your sickness

You want me to let you be with your loneliness

You kiss me, then you kick me

You touch me, then you delete me

You love me, and then you don’t

You want me for yourself, then you want me to be someone else’s

You open your heart to me, and you never tell me how lonely it could be

You put the necklace with your name on my neck, then you want me to be free

You put the ring on my finger, then you want me to be loved by someone else

You let me go, then you call me

You let me go, then you torture me.

You kiss my belly, then you want me to have the babies that are not yours…

You say you care, then you let me torture myself with the blood i bled for you, now is drunken by someone else.

And you’re sitting on the edge of the bed,

 

Telling me how weak you are,

You want me to be happy,

You don’t want to make me feel sad,

But

You are just selfish,

You never let me have a chance to love you.

The necklace, i took off

That ring, I’ve never put on

What is the point, of not being able to love someone who loves you?

I’m bleeding inside seeing how you torture yourself,

but hey, we will be fine,

the sun will always shine, for you.

Be well, love.

 

 

Astronaut 

Hiding yourself from the crowd, 

You stand there in the corner watching me smile under the afternoon sunlight 

The sun shines lazily, I miss you terribly. 

Time stops, I wish you was just a bit closer. 

Waiting for everyone to leave, 

You give me a kiss that I can keep.  

Your smile makes me cry. 

The sunflower in your hand melting down to your feet, 

And we suddenly stand on a flower field. 

Spring comes, flowers blossom, 

Holding my hands, you tell me how much I make you proud. 

Baby, I don’t need a crown. 

Life is already a clown, 

I float in the air, I fly up to the sky, 

Wishing if you’d ever be mine 

Just the two of us, in a dark room waiting for the sun to go down. 

Standing in front of me, but apart by an ocean. 

The sunflowers again shine, bring us back to the reality. 

You’re that astronaut leaning towards the spaceship windows. 

I’m the dust covering your sleeves on the left side… 

Something just like this. 

I want to walk with you again, 

On the bridge with just us there

Showing me the whole city below, 

The light sparkling in the dark. 

The stars were up high,

Kissing me on the lips, 

Saying nothing, you brought me to eternity.

My heart wanted to sing, 

A song for just two of us, 

A song of nothing but pure love. 

I’m not who I am when I’m around you, 

My body is weak, my feet are trembling walking next to you. 

My heart is vulnerable, my brain knows nothing but that I’m in love. 

All these journeys I chose, just to be silent next to you, 

All the work I put myself through, just to be with you, 

All the tough tasks, all the lies, all the cakes that Noone else can have, 

I took them all, I devoured all, 

All the toxic cakes Noone else could ever stand. 

I watched myself bleeding, leaving my net, cutting myself off from the herd, I followed my heart like a black sheep. 

I burned myself down just for a walk at night with you. 

What are you? A new ideology I live for? 

This madness is perhaps, stronger than what I devoted for….

The room

The new room is hot and humid. They haven’t installed any AC or fan, only the spring breeze secretly touch our bare back. I lie on my stomach, with my right cheek touching the cool white floor, looking at you through my left eye.

My David, my beautiful statue in the museum, my secret naked protagonist of a hidden scene, you’re sweating, smiling with me. 

You’re that forbidden creature whom I touch like worshiping a creator. 

You create me, inside the bubble of your selfish love. 

I can’t stop my fingers from running down your spine. 

I can’t stop looking at you, I can’t stop loving what I’m looking at.

 I hug you from behind, feel your warm body through the thin blanket, I kiss your back, feel like I know everything about you, feel like I’m touching your eyebrows, yours eyes, your nose, your desirable lips, your Adam apple, your chest, your abs, your pride left of a naked human being.

 You lie there, the moonlight streams down on your face, the night covers me, darkness covers us. 

Pleasure fills up the room, emptiness fills in my heart. 

Touching me at the core of human being, bring out all the chaos in me, crush my ego,  break my heart into pieces, you’re the master of destruction. 

You burn me down and build me up, like the phoenix rises from the ash, 

Let me, cave the ink on your skin. 

Let me, scar my heart in the beauty of sadness and self destruction. 

Let me, once embed my name on your sleeves. 

Don’t erase me, don’t enslave me. 

Don’t leave me alone with my solitude,

Don’t leave me cover in dust. 

Don’t let the time fly, just stay there, on the floor, looking at me with your sad eyes, being naked for me, 

So once in a life time, I have you.